Studies have shown that women apologise more than men on average. Well, ladies, a new study reveals sex may be the most effective way to fix things.
However, the research found that emotional commitment and communication is the best way to resolve conflict – although, how this is done in the relationship differs for men and women.
Lead researcher T Joel Wade of Bucknell University in the USA said: “Women may thereby use sexual favours as a way to reconcile with their male partner. Doing so may communicate to their male partner that they are still sexually accessible and as such, do not want to end the relationship.”
IOL reports that the study was done in two parts. Participants were asked to suggest specific actions that men and women do or say as gestures after they’ve had a fight with their partner.
Researchers then grouped the responses into 21 categories of possible reconciliation behaviours. The answers from the first group were then given to a second group to make sure those reconciliation methods were indeed effective and the most preferred.
The findings showed that men prefer a partner who will commit to pleasant gestures and sex. Women, on the other hand, preferred a man who spends time with them, apologises and even cries after a fight.
“Women may rate spending time together more highly because this behaviour signals a partner’s willingness to invest effort and limited resources into their romantic pair-bond,” explained Wade.
“Such actions by a man may signal the likelihood of a potentially high parental investment, which women prefer.”
We spoke to three guys to find out if they agree with the findings:
Senzo admits that for men, most things are about sex. However, he says it would depend on what his partner has done – if she’s cheated, sex won’t fix things. “If she slept with someone, then no amount of sex will help. However, if it is a regular fight, it would work. Also, she needs to make an extra effort in the bedroom – it can’t be routine sex.”
Mandla says make-up sex is amazing. However, it agrees with Senzo and says it wouldn’t repair the relationship if his partner had cheated. “If we’re fighting about finances or lack of attention, for example, then, yes, sex would be the best way to apologise,” he says. Mandla adds that he and his partner would still need to talk about the issues at hand.
“Sex is good, but it doesn’t solve everything,” says Siyabulela. He says if there are issues that need to be addressed, he would need to sit down and talk to his partner. He says the best approach to issues or conflict in relationships is communication. “Sex is always great, but after the fact, I expect us to sit down and discuss our problems,” he says.